I won the challenge yesterday. I didn't cry. (go team!)
Today however, is a completely different kettle of fish. (think less emotional pain and more physical pain.)
Where the hell did Thursday go ? Oh, that's right, I completely slept through it.
On the sleep front, it's either feast or famine around here, seriously.
Last night, after the TWO sessions with James (that I fucking smashed by the way)
I must have been tired.
After hoovering down some dinner, (I was fucking ravenous !)
I performed a little self care ritual, Hot shower, hot water bottle and a hot cup of sleepy tea.
(it's herbal tea available from T2 stores, nationwide. I swear, it contains rohypnol)
I'm not sure what happened after that.
All I know is that I woke up later than usual, I must have straight up passed out.
My phone was on my pillow beside me, uncharged and no alarm set. whoopsy !
Hustling the junior to school in my jammies (which I often do, late or not)
I came home and ate breakfast.
Yes.
Breakfast.
Anyone that knows me knows damn well that I'm not an eat during the day type person.
(unfortunately for my metabolism) I'm also a don't eat when I'm stressed or anxious person either.
For someone my size, surprisingly, I don't eat often at all. (but when I do.. watch me stuff all the things into my face hole. All of them)
On the advice of my trainer last night (more about that shortly) He advised that I start eating.
ugh. okay, okay !
So, since I had the day off, I made it into a little self care ritual.
Everything hurt and I felt like I was dying so I heated up a hot water bottle, remained in my jarmies and took my muesli with me, back to bed.
(I often eat in bed. as often as possible. My dining table is for building lego. No, I don't care what you think)
So, I'm in there, in my cozy sheets, bowl of muesli/berries/lactose free yoghurt balanced precariously on my tummy with my book in one hand and a spoon in the other.
and.. that's all I remember.
I woke up in time for the school run.
I had every intention upon eating lunch but I clearly slept through that.. and I've had plans for days to catch up with a friend for burgers tonight.. (treat yo'self, girl !) Neatly undoing everything I did with James yesterday.
Speaking of which..
7:30 last night saw me roll in to the gym for the second time in the same day.. (can I just take a moment to marvel at that occurance ? for someone that had been maybe once in the past 15 years.. what the what, now ?!)
Met my trainer, Michael. At least, he said his name was Michael. I was calling him 'Holy shit sauce, are you SERIOUS ?'
Nice guy.
We spoke a little of my óbjectives' once again.
I tried not to snicker out loud. I failed.
So, I broke it down for him. 'I'm here to literally out run my problems. At present, my 'run' is less 'run' and more of a 'brisk waddle', that's where you come in, my friend. And if we've got time, I want the kind of thighs that will crush the soul of the next man to ever fuck with me.'
We reached an understanding.
He encouraged me to learn to pee standing and exit the premises using the guide rail that leads down the stairs. (side note: STAIRS when exiting the gym is just plain cruelty in my book. who's idea even was that ?)
We did eleventy five billion squats, THE END. (Not really, but we did fuck tonnes and my legs doth protesteth, today.)
Random Thursday Musings:
Yesterday, I absolutely fell in love with leaving the gym. (wait, wait, let me explain)
despite the fact that every muscle, tendon and nerve in my body was screaming for mercy and I was almost certain I could feel my pee boiling in my bladder, moments away from blowing a head gasket.. The feeling of leaving is the best. When I step out of the doors, I'm immediately enveloped into a hug from the gentlest breeze that lasts all the way on the short walk to my car. You guys, it's the best feeling ever. (or, you know.. it's probably just the endorphins that has me shitting positivity)
Something else I love: It's random as all get out but I love watching my washing dry on the washing line. It sounds all whimsy and wanky, I know. but I don't care. I'm easily pleased.
I can get lost for ages, just staring at it flicker around in the breeze. I caught myself doing it for a few minutes this afternoon.. just twirling in the rain. (fuck you, Melbourne weather. seriously)
I bought myself a little treat last week (I do this often, regardless of financial status. sometimes present neish makes future neish cranky with her impulsive decisions) In this instance it wasn't expensive, just a cheapy perfume from the chemist.
A girl from work wears it, and it's the most gorgeous scent (bvlgari crystalline) I don't think it suits me at all, but I love it anyway. It reminds me of her. She has the best heart, one of those pure souls in the world that you only ever wish the very best for.
It's comforting in an odd way. Scent is my strongest sense. Fragrance is like a portal of time travel to me, instantly taking me back to whichever moment I associate the smell to. I love that.
While the urge to wag a date with James is strong.. (I've pumped out 4 sessions in the past 3 days.. I know I'll be irritated with myself if I don't.) So, off I go.
Climbing the stairs into the joint ought to be interesting..
Update 6:42pm
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL. I'm not going. So, there. Myself can be irritated with myself all it fucking likes. There's no way in hell I'm getting into the joint without the help of a cherry picker hoisting me through a window. Lets be honest, here. Stairs ? today ? Fuck. Off.
Alternate point: Tomorrow is another opportunity to try again.
" I like long walks on the beach, big dicks and fried chicken." - Jujubee.
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